We’ve lost a lot over the last 2 years. Family members. Friends. Relationships. Traditions. Routines. Milestones. Rites of passage. Financial security. Jobs. The plans we made that never came to fruition.
The holiday season is called “the most wonderful time of the year,” but it’s especially challenging when you’re in grief.
There’s an empty seat at the table and a void in our hearts. So often, our loved ones just don’t understand the depths of our grief. Sometimes they tell us that it’s time to move on. Or that our loved one wouldn’t want us to be sad. Or we might feel that we need to be strong for others and so we suppress our grief.
Holidays bring up intense feelings of trauma and grief that we often feel have nowhere to go. What you express diminishes in its power over you; it’s what you don’t express that stays stuck in you and ultimately causes suffering.
This holiday season, take some time out for self-care of your heart, mind, body, and Soul. Go for a walk in nature. Move and sweat. Shower and let the water run over you and soothe your heart and body. Rest, nap, sleep. Go for a massage or buy an electric massager you can use at home.
When grieving, it’s best to not be alone for extended periods of time. Connect with others who understand you and empathize so that you can work through your grief.
Getting the support you need when you are grieving is important so that you process your emotions and don’t end up traumatized from the event. Please reach out to me if you are in need of support. You are not alone.
If you don’t have anyone you can connect with deeply, then write. Writing can be a very healing experience. We express our thoughts differently on paper than we do when we speak or even when we just think. Writing can surface memories and truths we may have compartmentalized or forgotten. It can help us to remember with even more love, lead us to new insights, and foster empathy for ourselves and others.
Trust that the process will take you where you need to go. You might want to set aside a special time each day for your writing ritual. You might even want to establish a ritual around your writing time with a cup of tea, your favorite pen, and a lit candle. Don’t censor your thoughts. Your writing is for you and no one else. Give yourself permission to simply write and be present.
Remember that our grieving friends and family need our love during the holidays, not plans to keep them busy or distracted.
If you’re inviting someone to your home who is grieving, don’t invite them with the goal of cheering them up. Invite them with the loving intention of offering companionship and care during the holidays. Give them the freedom to change their RSVP at the last minute.
We don’t need to protect each other from grief at the holidays. In fact, the more we embrace the grief, the healthier and happier our holidays will be.
If you need help to move through your grief, I can teach you how to remove the trapped pain and energy from your body. We can express our anger, regrets, and trauma and make space for love, peace, and healing to enter us. The journey of healing grief is one of transforming from stasis to movement, from repetition to possibility, from constriction to openness.
Your grief doesn’t get smaller.
You get bigger.