Ayurveda gives physical intimacy as much attention as it does to diet and exercise. Ayurveda teaches that physical intimacy is the union of two bodies, minds and Souls, and can even be transformative and healing. For people who want to rebuild their libido, one month of abstinence is recommended to allow the body to relax and balance.
How much physical intimacy should you have?
As with everything in Ayurveda, it depends on your Ayurvedic constitution (dosha) and the season! So how much physical intimacy is beneficial for your dosha? And when is the best time?
If you don’t know your dosha yet, take this quiz to find out.
If you want a healthy libido, the best way to build one is by increasing overall wellness and building ojas.
What is ojas?
Ojas is your vital, life-force energy. It’s the “juice” that invigorates us and is reflected by our inner strength, immunity, vibrancy, vitality, and libido. It’s the most concentrated essence of nutrients and energy in the body. Strong ojas not only supports stable bodily tissues, it also supports a stable mind, clear consciousness, and better resilience.
Ojas is of two kinds: refined (concentrated in the heart and a total of 8 drops) and unrefined (which permeates the entire body and is about a handful).
When you run out of ojas, you die. That’s how vital it is.
We want to replenish rather than deplete ojas. Ojas deficiency is a gateway for disease and premature aging.
How often should you have sex?
Vagbhata, the author of a 2,500-year-old classical Ayurvedic text called the Ashtanga Hridayam Samhita, recommends daily sex in the winter, twice a week in the spring and fall, and twice a month during the summer and rainy season. But (thankfully!) there’s a major exception to this recommendation.
Vagbhata’s suggestion is based on the fact that our digestive fire, or agni, is strongest in the winter, moderate in the spring and fall, and weakest in the summer. And agni builds ojas. Our bodies are weakest in the summer because of all the physical activity, high temperatures, and sweating, which cause us to lose ojas.
The good news is that when sex is filled with love and both people are deeply satisfied and connected, this actually increases ojas!
Sex performed at night, especially two hours after dinner, is best for all doshas.
No matter how often you engage in the act or at what time of year, you can use Ayurveda to enhance your sex life and build your ojas. Here’s how.
Rejuvenate with diet
Foods that promote ojas are asparagus, broccoli, milk, dates, mango and rice. Ajwain seed, cumin, turmeric and black cumin (kala zeera) are also beneficial. Onion and garlic are aphrodisiacs and increase sexual energy, libido, and sexual secretions. Ashwagandha is invigorating for men and women benefit from shatavari.
Eat right for good lovin’
To replenish your ojas after sex, try this Spiced Milk recipe. It’s especially rejuvenating for men and can be had daily to restore sexual function.
Spiced Milk for Ojas
- 1 cup organic milk of any kind
- 10 almonds, soaked overnight, peeled and chopped (can be omitted if using almond milk)
- 2 whole dates, chopped
- 1/4 teaspoon powdered ginger
- 1/4 teaspoon powdered cinnamon
- 1/4 teaspoon powdered cardamom
- 1/4 teaspoon poppy seeds
- pinch of Indian or Persian saffron
- honey (optional)
Place all ingredients, except saffron, in a saucepan. Bring to a low boil. If using almonds, blend the mixture to a creamy consistency if desired. Pour into a mug, and add the saffron and honey. Enjoy!
Foreplay & connection
A thriving sex life is ultimately based on trust and connection. Create a safe space to explore, talk about what turns you on and off, and grow together. Foreplay starts in the morning when you are meditating together, praying together, perusing the farmers market, or going to your child’s basketball game. Gestures like holding hands, long hugs, and sincere compliments also create connection.
For the best possible sex life with your partner, learn about your doshas. This awareness will help you meet their needs, teach you how to stimulate and seduce them, and help you remain understanding when they don’t meet your expectations.